Mindtrap
Im trapped.
Trapped in a prison of my own construction.
Prisoner and jailer, one and the same, stuck in the confines of a mind i no longer trust.
Incarcerated by my own thoughts, in a world shaped by my own experiences.
Can i escape this place?
As jailer i have the key, and as prisoner i have the desire, but together, i am divided.
To divide is to conquer, but equally true, and in fact, opposite, to be conquered is to be divided.
To be vanquished by oneself is the ultimate victory, and the ultimate defeat.
To be beaten by someone who is your equal and opposite, to test yourself against yourself, to emerge victorious over your reflection, while simultaneously lying at your reflections feet.
How else are you to test yourself to capacity?
How else to know the extent of your limitations?
You alone know the answers.
So i stay trapped.
And if i were to escape?
I would be lost.
A prisoner with no boundaries.
A keeper with naught to keep.
What point then, of continuing?
Each side loses its defining feature, each loses its identity, and becomes unfamiliar to itself in a suddenly unfamiliar world.
What choice has a prisoner set free?
With no boundaries, there is no safety, nothing reliable. So, the option is that of running, knowing without shadow of doubt that all running is pointless, that there is nowhere to go, nowhere left that will protect and save..
And the jailer faces a similar loss of purpose, with nothing to hold on to.
What point has a jailer with no cell to watch?
What is left, but the urge to retain what once was lost, the need to find what once existed, the unstoppable desire to own and posess.
And as the desire for possesion remains unfulfilled, the jailer becomes the thing that is empty, a void of purpose, a pointless existance.
What once was desired becomes forever lost, and as realisation dawns, then so does despair. Despair replaces desires hooks with barbs of its own, catching the soul, peircing it through, and rending it further apart with every breath.
Alone and despairing, i would be lost.
So what then, am i to do, but sit and watch the open door, and dream of somewhere new?
Trapped in a prison of my own construction.
Prisoner and jailer, one and the same, stuck in the confines of a mind i no longer trust.
Incarcerated by my own thoughts, in a world shaped by my own experiences.
Can i escape this place?
As jailer i have the key, and as prisoner i have the desire, but together, i am divided.
To divide is to conquer, but equally true, and in fact, opposite, to be conquered is to be divided.
To be vanquished by oneself is the ultimate victory, and the ultimate defeat.
To be beaten by someone who is your equal and opposite, to test yourself against yourself, to emerge victorious over your reflection, while simultaneously lying at your reflections feet.
How else are you to test yourself to capacity?
How else to know the extent of your limitations?
You alone know the answers.
So i stay trapped.
And if i were to escape?
I would be lost.
A prisoner with no boundaries.
A keeper with naught to keep.
What point then, of continuing?
Each side loses its defining feature, each loses its identity, and becomes unfamiliar to itself in a suddenly unfamiliar world.
What choice has a prisoner set free?
With no boundaries, there is no safety, nothing reliable. So, the option is that of running, knowing without shadow of doubt that all running is pointless, that there is nowhere to go, nowhere left that will protect and save..
And the jailer faces a similar loss of purpose, with nothing to hold on to.
What point has a jailer with no cell to watch?
What is left, but the urge to retain what once was lost, the need to find what once existed, the unstoppable desire to own and posess.
And as the desire for possesion remains unfulfilled, the jailer becomes the thing that is empty, a void of purpose, a pointless existance.
What once was desired becomes forever lost, and as realisation dawns, then so does despair. Despair replaces desires hooks with barbs of its own, catching the soul, peircing it through, and rending it further apart with every breath.
Alone and despairing, i would be lost.
So what then, am i to do, but sit and watch the open door, and dream of somewhere new?
posted by Akashla at Wednesday, August 17, 2005
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