Writing is easier when youre not happy.
I have got to the stage that when i write in my journal, i experience negative emotions. Not necessarily that when i experience a negative emotion, i feel the need to write in my journal, but more that whenever i pick up my journal, whatever my mood, i start feeling angry, depressed, whatever, for at least as long as i stay writing. I noticed it a few years ago. Happiness in itself can inspire me to write, but once i start writing, it will be out of my reach until i put the pen down. Strangely, the effect does not transmute to typing.
But then, i dont actually view anger or depression as negative emotions. They may be in a general sense, but i need them to keep the happy, calm side of me balanced. I think experiencing a wide range of emotions is essental for healthy brain function, for keeping you sane. Obviously, flipping from one to the other at the drop of a hat may be unhealthy, but not giving any of them the time of day is even worse. I live in genuine terror of turning into the same sort of person i see around me on a daily basis. They live with no extremes of anything, nothing ever wavers from the acceptable bands of the norm. I like getting excited enough to squeak, and angry enough to yell, and sad anough to cry, and happy enough to laugh out loud. I detest walking through large groups of people, because the number of expressionless faces makes me want to shake passers by, to try and make them notice the things they must obviously be missing. I despise meeting someone who will do nothing but complain, about everything, even when they have plenty of things they can be enjoying. I am amazed that people think it strange that i give voice to my stupidest, inanest thoughts, that people laugh at me when i take the time to explore every avenue of a random thought i might have. Its essential for me, or i may wake up dull and grey, and may have to join the ranks of the walking dead.
